Posted by Shan on July 22nd, 2010 | No Comments

RCA is running interference for the poorly performing Bionic by releasing one of the power ballads from the crazy mix of electric songs that make up the album. Their choice? You Lost Me. Really they could have just about picked any and ended up with the same result, as they all showcase Christina’s voice much better than the tacky Not Myself Tonight campaign (personally I would have preferred I Am). And if anything makes this song better it is the Hex Hector and Mac Quayle radio edit which features new vocals and will surely be serviced far and wide to your local dance clubs.

Although this is a step in the right direction to possibly save this project, the video is simply a 4.5 minute video montage of Christina running her hands through her hair over and over again while singing in agony. I count no less than 13 times. It’s a ballad so it’s expected to have a dull video, I wasn’t expecting much really. The use of color throughout the video is nice but I certainly could have done without the tacky coloring effect on her face when she sings the word “infected”. It looks like my 9 year old cousin was set lose with the video editor.

Will it save the project? Time will tell. I’m hoping that the next single is Elastic Love or Bionic. If she’s going to rip off someone elses sound she might as well try to use it to her advantage with one of these two tracks.

Posted by Shan on June 25th, 2010 | No Comments

A Christina post what? I’m jut here to bitch, you know me and Xtina.

The official cover art for Christina’s second single (is it second? because I’m pretty lost right now) single from Bionic has made it’s way on to the internet. And you know what would make me love this cover art even more? Is if it somehow… in any way shape or form fit with the theme of this era which was last I know “bionic” and the color scheme of red, white and black. Now we’ve shifted musical focus to the ballads (which is probably the only thing to save this album) and went with a Goldfrapp Head First color scheme.

I do like the cover you see, it’s just that Christina has lost me on this one.

I’m still hoping she’ll release Elastic Love. That’s about the only thing I can tolerate from the album.

Posted by Shan on June 20th, 2010 | No Comments

Christina Aguilera’s ‘Bionic’ has made history in the UK but not for the reasons her fans would appreciate. The LP, which debuted at #1 on the Official UK Albums Chart with 24k units sold (the lowest sales figure for a #1 album in 8 years on the tally), has dropped to #29 during it’s 2nd week on the lineup. This stands as the largest dip that any #1 album has suffered in the history of the UK charts. On the other hand, Lady GaGa’s ‘The Fame’ remains in the top 10 despite being released since January 2009. Source

So the hoopla can die down now and we can all agree this album sucks, yes? However, she has chosen a ballad as a second single and we could see this album go the way of Stripped and get resurrected, perhaps we shouldn’t count her out just yet.

Posted by Shan on May 14th, 2010 | 1 Comment

How much are we over Christina? Let’s count the ways. Well, there’s at least 27 just in this:

Maybe we got a little too hyped up over the new record?  It’s been awhile and let’s face the truth: Back to Basics sucked. That double-disc shitfest of r&b mixed with old samples was b.o.r.i.n.g. Therefore, we were really itching for something great with this comeback and rightly so, because Aguilera was really touting it to be this tour de force album that would be totally different from anything she’s done:

[There are] different textures and things with my voice that I was really playing around with and having fun with on this record that I never even knew I could do, vocally.

Then there was the whole iamamiwhoami debacle. Even though it had zero to do with Christina, it really got us excited that she was doing something really innovative. Especially after she made it the focal point in several interviews that Bionic was utterly unique and that her voice was going to be presented in many different ways (read as subtler).

However, we should take the blame for the hype – not her. I mean, how silly of us for thinking that she might actually be able to do something original, new and fresh. See here, here and here.

Read the rest »

Posted by Justin on May 4th, 2010 | No Comments

Miley Cyrus has just released the new video for her “Look, I’m more than a Disney act…more than a two-hit wonder, I can be dark, dramatic and be lambasted that I’m stealing from Gaga like everyone else” single. Actually, that would have been compelling. But a fucking bird? She’s more of a dodo than a giant raven. And because of her being so country (and by country I mean a redneck hillbilly with a face that only a mare could love), this video is like when Shania tried to be dark. Let’s all just absorb that for a moment. Got it?

Well, now watch this silliness. And I agree with MuuMuse, there’s some Britney copying going on as well. But I’m reminded of Stronger. And Rihanna’s Please Don’t Stop the Music. And this song could be Adam Lambert’s in a glam minute.

The only thing that’s extinct is Miley’s virginity…ya heard!? My last thought: this is proof that it matters not who the singer is or their ability, songs are so well-fucking-produced that Madeline Albright could be a pop star. And it also proves that Christina’s video could have at least been a little more interesting. I mean if Miley makes a video that I can sit through…Xtina you oughtsta be ashamed of yo skank ass self.

Posted by Justin on May 3rd, 2010 | No Comments

Once a Beautiful Liar, now just a big fat one, Beyonce has released a teaser to yet another g-dee video off her I Am… deluxe, superfantastic, re-released orgasm-inducing ho-hum album. That brings us to a total of 9 songs from this project!

Weren’t you going off to make a baby or have a rest? And if you show up on this weekend’s SNL with Jay-Z and Betty White, I’m going to be livid. Thin ice, Beyonce, thin ice. And I don’t even know what to think of this anyway. But I know I’m more interested in it than Christina’s crappy video, so that’s saying something – blatantly, it’s saying that Christina’s new video is awkwardly hypersexual.

Check out the teaser…

Read the rest »

Posted by Shan on April 30th, 2010 | 1 Comment

Earlier this week Christina leaked photos from the video for Not Myself Tonight. Her giving a lap dance to another woman on a cowhide chair, another of her looking like a cat over a bowl of milk with her ass up in the air in skin tight vinyl. It was all rather unappealing and something I would expect from Geri Halliwell. It was how you do sexy bad.

After watching the video, it does have it’s moments, most of them not so good, but a few of them are. It seems Christina has both with the video and the song tried to do something… well provocative. I wouldn’t use the word shocking because everything she has done in this video and this song we’ve seen from a dozen other artists before her. It’s sad that she is as talented as she is and the best she can give us as a first single and video are a song where every other word is fuck and a video of her in as many skimpy dominatrix outfits she can find (didn’t Madonna do this already?) Here’s hoping that the second single really delivers.

Also, the Chus & Ceballos Mix really helps make this song better, check it out.