Posted by Justin on May 4th, 2010 | No Comments

Miley Cyrus has just released the new video for her “Look, I’m more than a Disney act…more than a two-hit wonder, I can be dark, dramatic and be lambasted that I’m stealing from Gaga like everyone else” single. Actually, that would have been compelling. But a fucking bird? She’s more of a dodo than a giant raven. And because of her being so country (and by country I mean a redneck hillbilly with a face that only a mare could love), this video is like when Shania tried to be dark. Let’s all just absorb that for a moment. Got it?

Well, now watch this silliness. And I agree with MuuMuse, there’s some Britney copying going on as well. But I’m reminded of Stronger. And Rihanna’s Please Don’t Stop the Music. And this song could be Adam Lambert’s in a glam minute.

The only thing that’s extinct is Miley’s virginity…ya heard!? My last thought: this is proof that it matters not who the singer is or their ability, songs are so well-fucking-produced that Madeline Albright could be a pop star. And it also proves that Christina’s video could have at least been a little more interesting. I mean if Miley makes a video that I can sit through…Xtina you oughtsta be ashamed of yo skank ass self.

Posted by Justin on March 10th, 2010 | No Comments

In what may be the most untimely and ironic song ever, Cheryl Cole’s last single featured a b-side entitled Boys, written by Adele – yes, that Adele (I would kill someone to hear her demo of this song!). I just find it funny that with the shit-storm that is Cheryl’s personal life currently, this song is basically about how boys are shit but girls can’t help liking (or loving) them. Even funnier that the rumors circle that Cheryl may give her dirtbag hubby another chance. It’s so Elin Nordegren of her, right? Wrong. Chezza, as she’s referred to in the UK press, needs to beat her husband down, Tiger Woods style.

And another frivolous note about this song is that I feel it LITERALLY sounds like Shania Twain or could have been plucked from her back catalogue. Or that Shania should sing this and Cheryl sing the ever-appropriate Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?

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Cheryl Cole – Boys

Cheryl’s new single Parachute is out next Monday, with a new b-side titled Just Let Me Go and remixes of the single by Ill Blu, Buzz Junkies and more. She’ll also be on Radio 1′s Live Lounge this Friday singing Parachute and presumably a cover version, a tradition of most acts who visit the program.